Para-alcoholics** are reactors rather than actors.
Alcoholism* is a family disease and we became para-alcoholics** and took on the characteristics of that disease even though we did not pick up the drink.We are dependent personalities who are terrified of abandonment and will do anything to hold on to a relationship in order not to experience painful abandonment feelings, which we received from living with sick people who were never there emotionally for us.We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem.We have “stuffed” our feelings from our traumatic childhoods and have lost the ability to feel or express our feelings because it hurts so much (Denial).We confuse love and pity and tend to “love” people we can “pity” and “rescue.”.We get guilt feelings when we stand up for ourselves instead of giving in to others.We have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility and it is easier for us to be concerned with others rather than ourselves this enables us not to look too closely at our own faults, etc.We live life from the viewpoint of victims and we are attracted by that weakness in our love and friendship relationships.We either become alcoholics, marry them or both, or find another compulsive personality such as a workaholic to fulfill our sick abandonment needs.We are frightened by angry people and any personal criticism.We became approval seekers and lost our identity in the process.We became isolated and afraid of people and authority figures.If you identify with any of these Traits, you may find a home in our Program. The 14 Traits of an Adult Child, also known as The Laundry List, are shown below. This affects us today and influences how we deal with all aspects of our lives.ĪCA provides a safe, nonjudgmental environment that allows us to grieve our childhoods and conduct an honest inventory of ourselves and our family-so we may (i) identify and heal core trauma, (ii) experience freedom from shame and abandonment, and (iii) become our own loving parents. We meet to share our experience of growing up in an environment where abuse, neglect and trauma infected us. Loving Parent Guidebook Availability Announcement *WSO Statement on COVID-19 Click Here* Welcome to Adult Children ofĪdult Children of Alcoholics (ACA)/Dysfunctional Families is a Twelve Step, Twelve Tradition program of people who grew up in dysfunctional homes.